Harrogate, North Yorkshire
Margaret Ashworth was fifty-one when her husband, Paul, died of a heart attack. They had been married for twenty-six years and had raised two children in the same house in Harrogate they had bought in their thirties. Like a great many people who lose a spouse, she found that grief did not follow any of the tidy stages she had read about. For a long time, meeting someone new was not something she wanted or even thought about, and she is the first to say that this is entirely normal and that no one should ever feel hurried.
It was several years later that the idea of companionship returned, gradually and without drama. She did not stop loving Paul or wish to forget him. She simply found that there was still room in her life for someone to share a walk, a meal, a conversation with. When she looked for somewhere to begin, she found the mainstream apps bruising. They asked her to perform a version of herself she no longer was, and they were full of people for whom her loss was, at best, an awkward fact to get past on a first date.
She started Widowers or Widows so that other people would not have to navigate that alone. The principle was simple: a place where everyone already understands, because everyone has been through some version of the same thing. More than a decade on, that is still the principle. The site is run gently and patiently, on the belief that companionship after loss is an ordinary, hopeful thing, and that it happens in its own time, never on anyone else's schedule.
"People sometimes ask whether joining a site like this means you are leaving your husband or your wife behind. It does not. I loved Paul for twenty-six years and I always will. What I learned, slowly, is that loving someone you have lost and wanting company again are not in competition. You are allowed both. There is no right moment, and there is certainly no late. When you are ready, and only then, there are people here who understand exactly where you are starting from."
Margaret Ashworth, Founder
All profiles on Widowers or Widows are checked. The community is protected by the Online Dating Protector programme and Scamalytics anti-scam screening. Dedicated customer support is available whenever you need it. Joining and searching are free, and there is no pressure to upgrade until you feel ready to do so.
The site is part of a shared mainstream dating network, which means that joining gives you access to a wider pool of members and that your profile may appear to members of other sites on that network. This is disclosed clearly and without small print.